It's been a long time since I last posted. I think it's becoming a habit, my blog is my hiding place..The place where I pour my heart out, when I'm feeling down.

We had our first argument today I guess. I don't think it's my problem this time. Since the beginning, all of the minor disagreements are pointed towards me. Some are my fault, yes. But other times, it's you being over-sensitive.

You have your principles, I have mine..Sometimes being the one who is always at fault is tiring. Being someone who is somehow quite egoistic, do you know how hard it is to always being the one apologizing and begging for forgiveness? I've made some sacrifices, do you know that I have never ever truly have to apologize to someone like the times I had with you? And yet, you've said that I am not being tolerable.

Today, he told me that he has accepted the job as an event planner for Johorean. After 2 or 3 weeks he accepted it. He said he has given me hints, what else do I want?? What I want is trust. Your principles only include yourself, have you ever thought of how I would feel? This is the first time I feel my heart throbbing with pain after 6/7 years? What I felt was disregarded as not being thoughtful! Disappointment..we both felt it this time. This is the 3rd time you have made me cry since we got together..I hope this won't become a habit..else I would be reluctant to let myself get deeper and start building a wall around once again.

I don't like feeling down at all, please promise me that this isn't starting to become a habit... :(

I try very hard to make myself not care that much..

But when I saw those posts, I still can't help feeling...

Heartache? Jealous?

I know that it's unavoidable..

but having someone you love caring that much towards another one that he once loved,

and having no choice but to accept..

Maybe i just need a place to express myself.

她

Maybe there's always someone in our life that is special in their own way..

That no one else will ever be able to replace their place in your heart..

那个她…就是你的那个她吧…

一个我永远都无法让你忘却的..遗憾？

心很痛，但是又能如何？

如果不是我的出现，也许…

是我想多了，还是其实我就是那个不该出现的？

I know you feel guilty towards her,

I know that there will always be a place in your heart that will never be for me.

时间…真的能冲淡吗？

很痛……

当一段感情走到尽头时，一切的言语问候都只是肤浅的关心……

我们似乎已经走到尽头了……

In case you don't know,

I am giving up.

You're not the one for me, as I for you.

我要的，你给不了……

你要的，我不想给，也给不了。

I'm giving up.

我要结束。

你不知道的事，你还是不知道……

Dilemma..

Now isn't really a good time to start anything new..

For the both of us, it's hard to stay committed once uni starts.

What should I do?

Do I say yes or should I say no?

Undecided..

There's more..this is your first??

It's gonna make me feel like shit if this ends badly :(

What should I do???????